I dunno, MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP WIPING YOUR ASS WITH IT.
Why in the hell toilet seats are the litmus test for how dirty something else is is beyond me, but I suspect it has something to do with dingleberries. Which, fun fact: are actually considered the grossest of all berries (followed by elderberries — stop pissing yourself and forgetting who I am, God!).
Ready to hurl? Here’s the on average breakdown: 700 different bacteria per square inch on a steering wheel, 80 on a public toilet seat and 1,000 distinct bacteria types on car trunks per square inch. Damn, dirtier than a public toilet seat? That’s just nasty.
According to lead researcher Dr. Ron Cutler, most people don’t bother cleaning their cars or wiping their steering wheel down so germs build up. Eating and driving is also a bad habit that will help breed bacteria on the wheel.
Haha — and you all thought I was crazy for driving with my knees! “No not crazy, just a really terrible driver.” Oh whatev — those newspaper stands had it coming and you know it!
Thanks to Sarah, who doesn’t care because she has a chauffeur. Really? A chauffeur, or bus stop near your apartment?